Creativity at reduced capacity
Not enough brain for comics but still too much brain to do nothing...
I love making comics. But also sometimes I just can’t make comics. But also also my brain still needs some kind of an outlet, some way to feel the force and satisfaction of the creative act when there’s just not enough space to Make A Real Thing…
I’ve been stuck in this uncomfortable space for the past several weeks. At the end of a long work day (or work week), I really want the calm that comes with doing creative work but all my energy keeps getting eaten up by the dissertation and at the end of the day I find myself unable to wring even the tiniest bit out for my comics. This leaves me sitting at my desk, feeling more and more anxious about not being able to do the thing while also itching to get the thing done. It’s complicated.
Studies in psychology and neuroscience have shown that making things with our hands is good for our brains and can help improve our moods. When I am not doing creative work, I feel worse and I’ve known this for years.
My current problem arises because the part of my brain that makes comics is apparently also the part of my brain that writes a dissertation… so when I’ve spent all day/week working on the dissertation, when I turn to that bit of cerebral real estate in the evenings or over the weekend, the battery is at like 7%.
On a good day.
I can’t make much of a comic on 7%. So what to do?
A couple years ago, a friend started making ‘data visualization’ crochet projects in the form of temperature blankets and I absolutely loved the concept. It got me wondering what kind of data I could visualize but nothing ever came to mind.
Until earlier this week.
As I was mulling all the emotional ups and downs of thesis writing, it got me wondering what that might look like in crochet. I listed the main “moods” I tend to experience in my work and chose a single color of bright acrylic yarn to represent each mood, ranging from “existential panic” to “holiday/weekend” with a few moods in between. I also chose a few different stitch patterns to add visual texture and further clarify whether a day was normal, or I had a headache, or Bee was home from school sick or if my heart palpitations had kicked in again (wheee). With these details narrowed down, my goal is to crochet a single row each day between now and the end of October (when my contract officially ends). And that’s it!
This goal takes me around 15-20 minutes a night and has been extremely satisfying and calming so far. I am so happy to be working with yarn again, I love the bright colors and the way my mind can just wander as I work - no pattern to follow or instructions to read. I still miss drawing, but I’m so happy to have the ritual of this little project to bring a bit of peace to my evenings.
What hand-making do you turn to when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed?
I love this idea!
What a fantastic idea! Also will create a great memento of your work (aside from the dissertation itself). I might have to try this in regard to tracking injury pain. I like to stitch felt toys when I am too stressed to think but need to be creative. Following someone else's pattern lets my hands do creative work when my brain is too tired. And then when my brain wakes up, I can add my own bits of flair.